Confessions of madness
2013-11-21 01:10:21 (UTC)

Love and sex

So I've had a discussion with Sid about our sex life, he still finds me incredibly attractive which I thank, I don't know what I'd do if he didn't and he wants to start building our sex life up again which I am defiantly up for. My sex drive is back within me but I don't know if that's due to the full moon or something else and if it'll last. I hope it does.

In all my years I have felt very strongly about the difference between love and sex, I do not believe they are connected in anyway. I believe sex while in love is one of the most magical things but I also believe that sex can be have outside of love and can be just as magical in a completely different way. But I've never really had sex in love until I met Sid which I have no experience about so this is a completely new learning curve for me which I think in some ways is my problem, I see it as learning.
I'm no stranger to sex and love learning about how sex works and especially fetishes, I find it so fascinating and I guess I've always seen sex as that, fascinating. I need to break that habit if I want a long healthy relationship.

I told Sid how I wanted to go back to basics and stick with passionate intimacy and the first thing he said to that was "is there anything new you want to try, I don't mind how weird" like he didn't even listen to me. We shall see how it works out when he comes to stay in a few days.

I also realised while looking back on my life that I was at my sexual peak a few years ago when I felt good about myself so I am trying to change. I weight alot more then I'd like so I'm going to try shed some of that weight which should make me feel a bit more confident in myself and I'm going to try to work on goals that I set myself.

Wish me a whole load of fucking luck.