Confessions of madness
2013-11-18 22:06:09 (UTC)

Sexual worries

So me and Sid have been together for a year and nine months which by my recent (within the last 6 years) history is a hell of a long time, though it really doesn't feel that long and I do love him to pieces and couldn't be happier with the thought of building a life with him but my sexuality worries me so much.

Before Sid I had multiple sexual partners with whom I saw on a regular basis no questions asked, no problems, no drama just pure sexual release which my animistic sides demand. I was never a 'slut' and haven't slept with more then 20 people if not considerably less (though a few people I had sex with only one time, people who were friends and needed a quick release like me) most of the people were I guess 'fuck buddies' who I carefully selected because they were in no treat to get emotional, who were clean and suited to my sexual needs. And I loved it. Every bit of it.

I love Sid, I really do but lately our sex life has been getting worse and worse. Sex with him is great and does the job but I still find myself not feeling 'up' for sex even though some days I used to see up to three fuck buddies a day before I met Sid.
Hes tried to get me into kinky stuff and don't get me wrong I love everything about kink and sexual exploration but its not really for me, as I said I am very animistic and a good hard fuck anywhere and everywhere is all I want, no fancy toys or scented lube or costumes do it for me like a quick rough pounding.
He keeps asking me if I still find him sexually attractive and I always say "yes of course" but it hasn't been till yesterday I realised I didn't find him as sexually attractive as I used to.

I would never and could never cheat on him and I can't lose him from my life, I love him so very much I just so wish I could have my sex drive back, sex used to be my everything, my spirit and zest, I feel empty without my sexual promiscuity.