NarcissaNyx

MizMezmarized
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2013-11-16 20:47:02 (UTC)

Confused

Don't know where to start. I guess I'll start at the beginning. A couple weeks ago, probably a month ago, my boyfriend seemed not to want to have sex with me. I started thing alot of things; like he's cheating on me or thought I wasn't attractive anymore. One day he left his phone as he went to the store. I took advantage of that and looked at it. Come to find out he wasn't cheating on me but watched a ton of porn! I'm talking about 4-7 clips from this website everyday. He even had it pulled up in his web browser. I confront yes him about it and he said he hasn't watched any since I moved in. Well I called him out about it. If he didn't look at it then who had his phone. I now started feeling like crap. My thoughts went wild. I wasn't attractive anymore, he wanted those fake women. Now don't get me wrong, I do watch porn myself and love sex. It's the pount he felt he needed to watch it everyday. I've tried to get him to do different stuff in bed, especially what he watches. I love to experiment and in very open-minded. My self esteem dropped. He would tell me he finds me very hot and that he's just tired a lot and suffers from ED, erectile dysfunction so that's why we didn't have sex alot. He told me he has nothing to hide and i can check his phone anytime. I said he was addicted to porn that's why he wouldn't sleep with me. Now I'd check his phone occasionally to see how frequent he would watch it. He didn't look at it for about a month.

Fast forward to now. He started this being distant again. I checked his phone Thursday and he had looked at porn again wed. That didn't bother me but what was funny is he's been deleting his history so that's led me to believe his doing it everyday again. Then he's changed his password so I can't look. I don't know what to think. He doesn't understand why it makes me feel like crap when he does that everyday. If it was reversed he'd think the same thing right? I can't help but think I'm not satisfying him and he would rather watch porn instead of have the real thing. I don't know what to do. He Even watches it while I'm sitting beside him on the couch. He holds his phone to wear I can't see what he is watching then when I try to look he changes screens to where he's playing a game. Am I that worthless to him? I think he's addicted to porn but not sure what to do or where to start.


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