Aeryn Sun

Uncharted Territories
2013-11-10 05:18:15 (UTC)

Boooooored

I'm so bored with life right now. I haven't made any friends since moving here and the friends I had here I don't even talk to anymore. I can't remember the last time I spoke to the Egyptian family and I feel kinda bad, but remind myself that the mom hasn't contacted me either, and the last time I checked friendship was a 2-way street. I guess it's all for the better, I don't think I was a very good influence on the children. Light has been asking me to stop by, but I'm in such a funk right now it's hard for me to leave my apt on the weekends. Honestly, the only time I leave me apt on the weekends is if I have errands to run or to get food, both of which I delay until I absolutely need to.

It's easier to make friends OS. People are constantly PCSing and/or traveling around exploring their new country, so there are always invites. Here in the States, everyone is pretty much set, already have friends/family. I wish I had gotten stationed closer to NY b/c then I could at least drive home on the weekends. I miss my family; Jen is growing up without me.

I'm super lonely here and have no motivation to do anything. I've been trying to reach out to people online to speak Arabic, but that hasn't been going to well. And I dislike my job b/c I haven't started working on anything. I miss dealing w/ customers b/c at least they kept my job interesting. Now I sit at a desk and do CBTs all day long. I've probably also come down w/ a case of SAD due to working in a building w/ no windows. When I go through the glass tunnel at work and am able to see outside, it feels like I'm in a scene from Resident Evil, where I can only see the outside world through windows but can't go outside b/c the environment is too contaminated.

I've decided to re-up b/c I'm not prepared to get out, but first I'll see what my options are as far as extending. I'm definitely gonna try going back OS, even though I know I'll be a little lonely. I know no one can make me happy, but they sure can help, would definitely ease the loneliness. I almost posted an ad for a dance partner, but people online always getting the wrong idea and I don't know if I can trust people in this city, this ain't SLO. I hope I don't fall into a relationship again b/c of loneliness.




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