Nadia

wet blanket
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2013-10-23 16:42:02 (UTC)

Feelings

Sometimes I wish I was a sociopath. Honestly.
Life would be so much easier without feelings and compassion.
Like sure if someoneyou have feelings for feels the same way it can be great, but then they have the opportunity to hurt you so badly . Or just anyone who means a lot to you.
Today jade and I decided to steal things from target and we got caught by the police and holy shit. I am never stealing again, my anxiety is going insane right now because mum and dad aren't home. They're never going to let this go, fuck.
I wouldn't have to feel stressed if I just didn't have any stupid fucking feelings
Dad will be so disappointed. I'll make out like none of it's a big deal but it is. It scared me so much I was shaking and my mouth was dry and I felt like vomiting.
And what if they tell mum about the smokes they confiscated
I hope they don't.
I've just been so stressed about everything. With corey and the family with school with getting a job and just what everyone thinks of me.
Today was just terrible.
I feel like cutting so badly without my smokes. I can't calm down.
I complain but I brought this shit ob myself.
I hate myself once again.
Ahahhaha just when things start to look up with my and mums relationship I fuck it up again, good one nadia. You're just so good at constantly fucking things up.
I can't fucking calm down and I can't say fuck everyone because this all my fault so fuck me. I'm a fucking idiot and I can't do anything right.


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