kiddo16

NaivetY & ChildhooD LefT BehinD
2013-10-10 22:51:32 (UTC)

Don't ever forget

I think it's time to re-evaluate my intentions. I must have got lost in the midst of all of this. Once upon a time when I felt so down and depressed, I had thought of suicide. But then, I was reminded of the bigger picture and that is the presence of God. Since then, I've told myself that I'm living for God... no longer for anyone else. At that point of time, it was so difficult... so suffocating to just pull through life each day. Right now, it has only gotten a little bit better but I had forgotten my intention. I made myself living my life for other people just when things got a little better. Before it's too late, I had better change this intention back to its place. For the past week, for whatever things that I do.. I kept thinking on the benefits I would reap should someone identified it. And when the time comes... when it's time to see whether I would get the benefits... and to find out that I don't... that's when I'll get extremely disappointed and maybe back to depression. It's seriously not what I want. Please! I gotta tell myself to avoid this situation. Whatever I do... whatever benefits I wanna reap.. it's gotta be from God. Even if I don't get anything from God at the moment, I believe He would have his reasons. He knows best what's good for me. Maybe He will have something better for me in future. I can trust Him because He is fair. Unlike humans, they are limited in implementing justice. Even if they are good at it, humans tend to easily forget. So I betta avoid relying on humans. Really!! Whatever I do, I shall do it for Him. Come know dada! You betta tell yourself this every single day. Save yourself from another disappointment and depression. Please I beg you dear dada! Don't ever forget those terrible days you felt all alone.




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