LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
2013-10-06 20:50:57 (UTC)

My Mind Is Full Today


"I Will Not Bow" by Breaking Benjamin

Sunday October 6, 2013 9:15 PM

Weight: 113.6 lbs - 115 lbs

I'm sorry that this is my THIRD ENTRY today.

My mind is full and I don't talk to people I know. Actually, I don't want to talk to them most of the time. I don't want them to know anything about what I am thinking.

How many times today have I thought and written the word "worry"? Probably only twice but it seems like more.

I weighed 113 lbs today and my periods only last 3 days very light flow.

I'm worried about myself. I don't starve myself. I had a second helping of breakfast today and then I cleaned my room for the rest of the day and forgot about lunch. Then I made cookies and made myself a wrap around nine.

(Tomato basil wrap tortilla, hummus, black beans, tomato, spinach, onion, bell pepper, and sour cream.)

I ate most of the wrap, but then I got disgusted by food randomly and gave the rest to my mom. I ate three cookies, then weighed myself.

114.6 lbs

Okay, if I'm not exercising that much and I'm not starving myself, why am I losing weight? I like losing weight, I do, but I'm a paranoid person. I always think something is wrong with me.

I'm not underweight. For my height, being underweight is being 105 lbs. My BMI is 20.1 - 20.3

Maybe I forget to eat too often. I don't like eating lunch. I don't know why.

Brain, please sleep now.


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