the broken girl

bruised and scarred
2013-10-03 22:36:58 (UTC)

since summer part 4

10/1/13
I don’t know why I feel so crappy today maybe cause I don’t have anyone to vent too well I don’t think I need anyone I feel like crying my eyes out I already did that and watched 3 movies for today I really don’t know why I feel like that I have hw to do and here I am sitting and watching a bunch of movies god why can’t I just go and do my damn hw why just why? I hate being in this kind of mood all I want to do is just relax well this is how I felt Saturday I stopped writing cause my mom came home well I think my days will be about Ricky I saw him at the bus stop I didn’t talk to him but my friend wanted to go to McDonalds he bought my friend and me food yay!! Well I wanted cookies and he bought that for me he didn’t know he was buying it for me I took it from my friend and he was surprised my friend said to give him a hug and say thanks so I did and he put his arm around I try to get it off my shoulder but he kept putting it back there so I just gave up we talked about what happened our break up I hate that he keeps talking about it’s the past we don’t need to talk about it honestly I hate it he’s the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me and I hate him for talking about our break up I don’t want to be reminded of it. I might tell him off I do not want to be reminded of our break up. He doesn’t care that he’s fucking around with my feelings I hate him for that I told him a million times how I felt about him but I don’t even think that he cares wtf I should get used to this no one cares about my feelings im invisible to everyone no one cares about Raveena’s feelings the hell I don’t even know why the hell im talking in third person. I hate myself cause I let it bother me he was my first real one and maybe he’ll be the one who I’ll never get over even he’s an asshole I still have feelings for him I am an asshole too I don’t think he even knows how I feel about him either. I’m too young to be feeling this way well I’m already fucked up so it really don’t make sense. Well Ajai I haven’t called him for almost 2 weeks I never have time he’s in a another country what if he cheats on me I really don’t know. He thinks he going to marry what if we are not soul mates what’s going to happen huh I ask myself that question everyday honestly I didn’t even think about him all I thought about was Ricky he’s an ass and Ajai is pretty cool. I wanna enjoy my teenage years I won’t be able to re-live it that’s what suck. I have been hanging out with this guy his name is Joshua ima call him josh for short I think he like me I caught him staring at me in class a million times its funny cause whenever I look at him he always looks away and he’s fucking annoying I really can’t stand him at times he’s cool and the he’s annoying most of the times. There’s one problem I don’t feel attractive to him I don’t know why or maybe he’s annoying yeah cause I really don’t know. Oh my god there is this other Spanish kid his name is Luis he’s fine he wanted me to go cut class with him but I couldn’t go because I had earth science and I really don’t wanna cut that class then I saw him again I wanted to go with him but josh pulled me into the classroom and I needed help with math and josh helped me he even stayed with me after school I was very surprised that he stayed with me and I didn’t tell him to stay but I wonder why he stayed then he called me his sister on the bus I was shocked. Wow my entire entry is about guys well I think only 2 mattered Ricky and Ajai the 2 of them was just there I just wanna let my feelings out well I’m doing my hw and listening to music oh yeah and singing I hope no one can hear me ha-ha and I’m in a pretty nice mood. Tomorrow im going to tell ricky off if I have the time I’m going to tell him to stop messing around with my feelings or I might pussy out and don’t tell him cause he’s that type to think everything is about him I swear when I was with him he wasn’t this much of an asshole I really hate him right now I told him I wanna smash his face against the bus ha-ha-ha-ha well laters




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