Jack's Twisted Kingdom
2013-10-01 08:00:11 (UTC)

rain on a rainy day

some days I just want to dance in the rain with that brown eyed girl, with the porcelain dusk-hued skin. she knows I exist, always known, so thats something I suppose. I want to ask her out, but, I get the feeling I'm not in any place where she'd even want to. this whole self improvement thing is taking awhile, but I'm doing it for me, and I'll admit, I'm doing it so that I'm the best "me" I can be. corny as that sounds. I want to be able to ask her out, and really show her a good time, go for drinks, go to a concert, maybe go glow bowling, pool, or something, hang out and talk all night, walk her to her door, kiss her hand and say "good night, I'll see you again" and hope, against all hope that she says "you will", in one manner or another. I want to woo her, it's funny, I've lusted after her for years, silently from afar. I'm working on myself, even if I never ask her, well, I will, and maybe she says no, but I'm ok with that. I'd regret not asking.

it's 6am, I woke up at 3pm yesterday, I'm theoretically going to sleep soon. one can hope anyways, my brain is a million miles away. my heart even further. my soul, an impossible distance away. a few more months and things will, settle down, or, get to a point where I'm settled. march, april, one of those and things will be, good. solid. which is all I can really ask for.