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Entry 1: In the Library
I sitting here. There's a fucking shit ton of people. It's slowly been depleting though. One leaves every few minutes. The guy on the couch diagonal to me wearing the Neff bracelet has been sitting here for a while. Almost the same as me. Been in here for about 2 hours. I have class in about a half hour so I should be heading over there soon. Art appreciation is an interesting class. But I've kind of lost some motivation with things around here. I'm terrified I'll start skipping classes. Just not get out of bed. My anxiety kicks in every now and then and it makes me hate being here even more. I don't want to give up. I don't want to lose that motivation to do something with my life worthwhile. I've been listening to music a lot more than usual. And even before it was a large amount. I don't think I'm ready to tell Damian how broken I already am. I don't want to scare him away. I like him so much. It's crazy how fast I fell for him. We are dating now. 9/20/2013. He met my family. I really hope they liked him. Jayln might meet him this weekend and I'm so excited. Her opinion is the one that worries me the most because I look up to her so much. And it would probably kill me if she doesn't like him. Him and I are probably going to start running together, I am so excited yet nervous. Cause I might embarrass myself and such. But he hasn't ran in a while either so it will be good. :) I think we are just going to take it easy the first time. He's supposed to be talking to Zack soon. I don't know what he is going to say if Zack says no that we can't be together. I really hope that doesn't change his mind about us. I think this will be the one that does me in. I'm going to give up on boys after this till I get out of college. But he's just so sweet. And we have so much in common, it's crazy. But honestly Zack should just get over it, we were together 2 years ago. But I understand and such about why he would be butt hurt and such. I can't blame him... Feelings are just like that sometime. But anyways. I gotta head to class soon. And it's going to suck so much. Cause we might have a test tonight, and I didn't study cause I left early last time. I really need to get a schedule in place. And start focusing more. Especially with my health class, I've been sucking at that so much. But I have more to tell later. Heading to class.
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