Today I made probably the most important decision I have ever made in my life. After the mediation she abruptly started and stopped she now say it is time for the courts. The natural thing for me to do is fight for what I think is right and principled. I feel so let down and disappointed in her. Its like 'bring it on' lets go to court and I would be vindicated.
In the last few days I have taken a step back and started praying. My mind is not filled with the spirit of conflict but to spend time to know God and concentrate on my targets. It is now clear to me. there can be no winners. What can I win? No matter what the court says I will have no joy in seeing her or the children wallow or suffer. The 3 of us (me, her the kids) are all loses in this debacle (unfortunately). The best I can now do now is to take majority of the hit. I feel comfortable and better this way. She can have the house and the kids and I will share them during the holidays. I will get a flat not too far away and start living my life again. We cannot orchestrate our lives we can only do what we think is right. I have let my life to the greatest conductor JESUS. He would lead me and guide me. I have hope and looking forward to a life where I still have the chance to be what is inside me. I want to take this opportunity once again to publicly acclaim him as my father who never fails.