The Real Me
I have been thinking about it,...M I mean. And the more I think the more I realized how lucky I was to get out quick. Some people go on to marry these psychopaths. SO yes ive been researching narcissistic behaviour and psychopaths and M fits the description. Emotional abuse, mimicing emotion, pathological lying, manipulative behaviour, using my every weakness to his advantage. Breaking me down and tearing me apart, making me feel insecurity and low self esteem over the things I once was proud of. Its amazing how mentally messed up he was. Blaming me for his cheating...you know what scares me...for the 1 year and half I was with him not once did we have "emotional sex" or "made love" it was a pure "fuck" and left me feeling degraded. It all adds up, but i am so glad I didnt pine over him for too long that I got over the heartache fast because without him I felt so shit, even though being with him was just as bad. When I think back I remember who he began stopping me from seeing my friends but I didnt listen and Im glad. How he tried to control every aspect but made it look like he wasnt controlling at all. I hate him...I fear him... I never want to cross paths with him again. But its ok im alot stronger now, if its taught me anything its to be damn careful, use my brain and my instincts.
Or maybe im the psychopath?
I quit my job again...
I am one eccentric motherrrrfukerrr.