KatW

I don't know..
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2013-08-10 22:56:51 (UTC)

Hi?

So, I just started this thing and I have no idea what to say. I've heard from teacher's that to let your emotions out you can write and I've never tried that so here goes.You may be asking why I'm doing this here, well, I don't see myself writing in a notebook. I'm not much of a writer or anything and all of these are probably going to be overemotional and annoying. Sorry in advance for that. In writing a diary I'm supposed to write how I'm feeling but I really don't know how I'm feeling. I guess I'm kind of numb. It's like, I'm feeling 3 emotions all together yet I'm feeling nothing at all. I'm sad, angry and happy. But I don't know why. Why am I sad? Why am I angry? Why am I even happy? I don't have anything to be happy about, I just am. But sometimes I can't even feel it. There are many times where I'm just sad. Depression, I've been told after researching and it feels about right. I can't stop cutting either. I relapsed 4 months ago and it's been non stop ever since. I hate that I'm so weak, I can't even stop myself from doing it. I'm so worthless, I can't even control myself. I just want to die, but I feel like no one would care. I just want someone to notice that something's wrong, and to care. But who in their right mind would care about me? I'm just polluting the universe.
Anyways, I'll probably write more later today,
Sincerely,
Kathy


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