Athena Roman

Hold Me Close and Drop Me
2013-07-17 05:34:55 (UTC)

Once A Target, Always A Target

Bullying has just been a part of life for me from that point on. First grade was an absolute nightmare. Seriously, if I ever saw my first grade teacher again, I'd fucking strangle her. She made life hell that year.

I was always a good kid. Only three days in kindergarten did my teacher ever have a negative comment about me. And two of them were talking when I wasn't supposed to. But my first day of first grade, this bitch teacher, Rosenauer, had started talking without warning and I said ONE word and she gave me a yellow card. I think you got a green for good, yellow for had a warning, pink for misbehaving, and blue for principal visits. Anybody else would say I was a great kid, but my teacher only thought so two or three times that year. I was always getting yellow cards, and that still pisses me off to this day (I know, I should totally move on by now) because most of the time I did nothing wrong. And she wasn't just a strict teacher, she hated me. It takes a lot of maturity to have it out for a six year old.

I drew a picture of a monster during inside recess and she picked it up, look in disapproval at me, and said, loudly I might add, "someone's being a little silly." And she didn't say it in any nice way. She was pissed over it, while Billy was drawing people shooting each other to death. What the hell?

She never helped me. I didn't know how to make a capital "G" and when I asked her how, she just said I should have learned it last year and went on to the next person.

Everybody sat at color-coded tables and she decided that I needed to be in a desk by myself in the middle of the room, where everyone could stare at and ridicule me. On the off chance that I was involved in a class game, she made it so I was out quickly.

It was that year I became socially awkward and isolated. Other kids thought it was okay to ostracize me because the teacher did. I didn't grow socially with everyone else, because this bitch fucked everything up for me. I think that's one of the reasons I am so awkward and weird with people now. Her hatred of me, along with the shit I had going on at home, really screwed with my head. I lost any hope of being a normal kid that year.




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