DayDreamer23

Figurative Language
2013-07-08 04:34:22 (UTC)

Rushed and running

Dear Kitty,


Do you ever feel like you're just running around in circles? Me too it's okay. I feel like i'm in a constant state of childhood, if that makes sense. Like i have dreams for the future but i can't picture myself then. Like i can't see the progression from child to adult. The world in my mind still feels like it ends with this childlike state of life i'm in. I can't see myself driving a car and having a job and living alone. I don't want to think that it makes me feel like i'm going to die before i get to be old but it does and it makes me anxious to get things done. Like i don't have so much time left maybe and i have so many things i want to do. There seems to be no reason for me to die before i'm an adult but i just always get this rushed feeling when i think about it like i need to do these things so that i can live before i die. I don't know it that sounds morbid or what but it feels like some sort of sick reality.
I don't think i feel that death in a sort of suicide way but i don't know what the future holds. There are many a thing that i feel rushed doing and uncomfortable with and not in an anxious sense of growing up but rather a feeling of finality in their meaning. They mean things are ending. For some reason i'm not extremely saddened by this but i don't exactly know what to think. Maybe i'm just crazy, we can't rule that out.

Hopefully yours for a while longer,
M




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