sft

A Subs Space... OVER 18!
2013-07-04 08:35:28 (UTC)

Yesterday afternoon

i couldn't write any more yesterday. Apart from being upset, i was very busy after yesterday morning.

i walked back home at lunchtime, and logged on to YM to wait for Master.
He came online, and i apologised for my behaviour earlier. He accepted my apology, and told me to get the wooden spoon, and undress.
i did so, and told Him i was ready. He asked if i was alone in the house, to which i replied yes. Immediately my mobile phone started ringing. He told me to answer it. i said i couldn't... that i couldn't talk, i was upset. *i was* upset. i was crying yet again, and i didn't want Him to hear me blabbing down the phone every time He calls me.
He hung up. He said He didn't ask me to speak... that i had now willfully disobeyed Him twice that day. Then He said "turn the phone on... answer it", and rang again. i knew it wasn't up for discussion, so i picked up.
He was very *matter of fact* in His explanation of why He was disappointed in me, why He had to punish me. He didn't shout, just explained, as i sat listening, trying to keep the tears at bay. When He was done explaining, He said He was going back on YM, and to see Him there.
He asked if i understood why He was angry with me, and if i understood why i was being punished. i did. So He told me to take the wooden spoon, and hit myself hard enough to hurt, but not leave lasting marks, on my inner thighs. i asked if i could go upstairs to do it, and He agreed.
i went to the spare bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed. It was getting late, and i had to go back to work soon. He rang again. i answered immediately. He told me to hit myself first on the left inner thigh, then the right, counting as i did so.
i began... 1, 2... again... 3, 4... again... last times... 5, 6...

On the last 2, it stung, and the burning feeling it gave me made me wet... suddenly needing to come.
"Good girl... you can put the spoon down".
The spoon dropped to the floor, the tears came. my Master stayed on the phone a couple of minutes after, gently talking to me... comforting me. He said i was forgiven, and it was over with.

After we hung up, i dressed and went downstairs. i was late for my lift again, but i felt
so much better, the sting and warm feeling staying with me all afternoon. In fact, at work, when i went to the toilet at around 5pm, there were still 4 marks on my legs! i didn't realise i had done it that hard! But after i saw them, i kept looking at them, i liked seeing them there... a reminder of my Master... making me somehow closer to Him :)




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