ifonly.

ifonly.
2013-06-29 23:57:14 (UTC)

Saturday night.

well a fair bit has happened over the last couple of days I guess. I know that Claire really does like me, which is awesome. she can read anything I write here too which is good, and she's started her own diary thing as well.. although it has a password lol. which is extremely gay. Umm last night she sorta had a bit of a meltdown and possibly accidentally brought up the fact that she had gone through some pictures that were on my harddrive while I was over there visiting her. I genuinely didn't know what was on there and I haven't even had time to look at what is, but from what she said.. she seen a few photos that she definitely wishes she hadn't. i'm worried now that she thinks i'm some kind of massive perv or something, which i'm not. the Thailand thing was a one off, and in hindsight probably not the brightest thing I've ever done, but it happened. first thing i'll do when I find them is delete them. I almost felt sick when she was talking to me about it because I can only imagine what she must have been thinking, and I felt terrible for it. I know I would feel gutted if I had found photos like that of her. i'm glad that she told me about it though because I kinda have like... I dunno, a greater understanding of how she's been feeling etc. she said she's going out to dinner with a guy next week, and I have no idea if she was being serious or just saying it for the sake of getting me upset. whichever, it worked. I truly hope that she isn't in any way jealous of bec though because she meant and means nothing to me. we're hardly even friends. I had a small chat with Claire again tonight, didn't bring any of it up because I can't stand to be in any kind of conflict with her.. but I don't know how she's really feeling at the moment. she was obviously upset at the time but I hope she knows how I feel about her. and I hope she hasn't changed her mind about visiting :(. soccer final tomorrow, I better get some sleep I guess.

god I can't stop thinking about her.


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