day 2 of the gay HSR course. boring as hell and i'm completely uninterested. ah well the things we do ay. just had soccer training earlier which was good to get out of the bloody classroom and run a round a bit. could be a big weekend for the club if all goes to plan on sunday. seen a picture that Claire wrote on her blog, and she's obviously as confused as I am. it's all quite sad really.. actually seen another one that some bloke asked her out to dinner, which didn't exactly surprise me that someone had.. it was just something that hadn't even crossed my mind amongst all the thinking I've been doing. it brought back feelings and a sense of dejavu, from years ago when we went our separate ways. mixed feelings of jealousy and wanting her to say no, along with feelings of wanting her to be happy. last time, I let her go in the hope of her finding happiness. this time I don't want to make the same mistake again. I really hope that she either let's me see her when she goes to Melbourne to visit her friend(s).. or decides she wants to make the trip to mount gambier to visit me as well. I think she wants to see me.. but is afraid of getting in too deep if nothing is going to eventuate. but I want something to eventuate. truth is, I think I've fallen in love with her. I really do. she's all I think about and she's all I care about. even Richmond doesn't have that effect over me, and everyone knows how much I love the tiges. I remember when I seen my mum the weekend after getting back into Australia, (she said brett told her i'd gone to kiwi land to visit a girl named Claire, thanks douchebag) and she said "I hope you haven't fallen in love and are thinking of moving to new Zealand".. haha, if only she knew hey. maybe one day she will.