Truthful

Finding my flow
2013-06-15 13:12:12 (UTC)

Email I wrote to my Hubby!

Read somewhere, "A great relationship is about two things: appreciating the similarities and respecting the differences".

One things I have learnt from my own experience that its not only our birth right but responsibility to care for oneself before anyone else.
Hence as a part of self-care and for my own mental peace, I have to tell you this again that I don't appreciate your closeness to S****.

She has become so much emotionally dependent on you that for every single incident in her life, she needs to consult you or inform you (I am here, I am there, doing this, that...). And I think you enjoys this dependence too because you don't say No to her calls or her any weird request like taking care of her emails in her absence, When she can easily asked for such help from her female friends. why does she even need that help???
I get restless when she calls you when I am around and for what reasons????, 'I am not happy, I am depressed......call me etc'
I understand and completely cool with the idea of you sharing your academic knowledge with her, collaborating on projects and even professionally helping her in finding jobs...but most objectionable part is her DESPERATION. If you are not picking her calls, why does she continuously keep on calling you???? This behavior is much beyond the healthy relationship colleagues or friends.

This just don't hurt me but our relationship. If I don't raise my concern here that means that I don't value my marriage with you, which is certainly not the case.

I want us to strive towards keeping each other happy than otherwise. This should be the foundation of our relationship. Its like building a house, how can you raise the wall from one side when you see that other side keep on falling due to some natural or unnatural cause. I need to first fix the broken walls, then only I can think of building new ones.

I can give her this benefit of doubt that she is immature and its easy for any simple young girl to get into your trap. I don't think she is happy this way....I don't think that she enjoys calling u every now and then. She is desperate to have her own boyfriend and family. In any love (or lets call it self-arrange) marriage, no girl ever finds the guy of her dream (height, weight, Education, ethnicity) but she end up settling down with someone she think she is in love with....and what does this love means... it's emotional dependence.


Think logically, if she remains so dependent on you and you keep fulfilling her demands, how will she ever get into relationship with other guy. I pity her at times, she should go to a counsellor. I believe that she calls you because she feels helpless. She needs to be strong but I know you will never try to incorporate such confidence in her because this is of no benefit to you.


My belief says that she will not find a good job or a husband if she continues to behave so. Well, honestly, for someone so weak, stupid and dull, aiming for 100k job sounds worrisome to me. She is good at slavery and that what she should do! Other reasons could be 'Karmic justification' ....she is hurting me and she will get hurt in return.

For you, I believe that what you really deserve is a 'life of lonliness' because you never cares for people who cared for you in your good and bad times...(pls note: I am not just talking about myself).

You have a tendency to hit people's confidence and their peace of mind, and then go to any extend in making them dependent on you. This makes you feel like a GOD. I have been both the witness and victim. Your attitude is like ' the more, the merrier'. This is an evil mindset....or I will say your limitation as a human being. But unfortunately, this is your basic nature hence I think its useless to put efforts towards eradicating it.


Lastly, even if you thrash all my above theories , which may be wrong since they are based on the screwed information you provided to me about her personality, her half-read emails to you and over-hearing some of yours phone conversation, but one thing I can say with full confidence and sincerity is that I get upset and disturbed by your behavior (with the slight hope that you might care and do something about it).
Whatever.....Anyways...
for now, if you just acknowledge, it will be fine!




Ad: