The Real Me
I quitted the job today...I lasted a day. Normally im not a quitter....i hate quitting, its the one thing I hate hate doing, because I have all these what ifs in my head. But I duno...how do you shake the feeling of impending doom? I felt that the minute I walked into that job. I felt sad, down, like the entire area, room, building was draining every happy feeling,every inch of positivity from my body. A bit like a dementor from those harry potter films. Half way through the day I wanted to cry...by the end of the day I was literally thinking if i just slit my wrists I could end this. Which was crazy of me to think...I guess I wasnt thinking this in an overly dramatic way...just "sigh" I cant deal with this sort of way. I dont know what I will do now...but I feel better having quitted. I still miss Hammersmith and the old job but its not as bad...i dont feel as crap about it. Ive accepted I have to move on...I guess I just ddint like the new job I picked. I should always go with my intuition. I havnt been gym in like 4 to 5 days and i pulled a damn muslce today...very badly so i cant even move my thigh but I so badly want to go gym.