Vanilla

I start tomorow

=( I start tomorow, and i feel so depressed...scared/nervous/anxious/sick....i have a sick feeling in my stomach.

..I just need time to stand still for a while, so i can just take everything in...im not ready to let go of everything...im not ready to let go of my routine, of hammersmith, of the gym or the people...it was always a happy area, with so much going on in the square...now im going somewhere empty...and I dont know if I will like it or how I will feel. But when I walked into the building and stepped into the area it felt so different to me, I was hit by a sense of overwelming lonleyness and neglect. Something so foreign to my current job, now im going to be stuck there for a few years...if I get past the 3 months that is. Because have to sacrifice hapiness if i want to get far..this is an excellent opportunity....hopefully they will move their office...

Dianas birthday was great, went out spent too much money and got pretty smashed