The Real Me
2013-05-29 21:21:34 (UTC)


I hate changes...they scare the crap out of me. Whether its good or bad. Its just that I get so comfortable and everything startes to become so familiar, the environment, the people, the faces, the culture, my routine starts revolving around it and then BAM Goodbye. I gets chucked into a new place, new environment new faces and rebuild all those connections. I feel like I need some stability right now, some kind of comfort.And I was finding that comfort at work...and now I have to go =( and re do the whole interview stage and be away from the gym i got soooo used to, and the people I started to like and feel safe around...ihate it. Its like I repeatedly keep re starting my life, how can I build if im constantly starting over?

Sometimes I wish I had something to hold on stop the world from spinning so fast.

Oh ps as for that little inkling of hope, it DIED. Turns out hes just another Sukh. Insecure lozer guy who likes to play "games" that he doesnt have the instructions too. Its like a donkey playing chess. "sigh" why me? why am I attracted to idiots. It sucks because he was so nice looking, and sweet and had this cute little perky personality and then he goes and stabs it right in the centre and literally just drags that tiny spark of hope across the floor and dumps it in the gym towel trash thingy bin. Because this idiot decides to play games.I mean cumon it was a great fantasy, me and him...doing crazy stuff together, exploring crap, going to things but noooooooooooooooo. Now I have to find a new fantasy. Or just go back to the boring reality I live in right now,,,,which by the way is boring and filled with boring people. Man Im never interested and he intrested me and he just takes the interest away. Cheers mate.