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2013-05-24 17:23:34 (UTC)

Thankful for Christ's Love

Over the course of three years I was in a very dark, and lonely place. Bad decisions and mistakes will do that to you. And life. Life in itself is full of tribulation.

I have never been so lost, so alone, so angry, so scared, and despondent. I had become in every sense despicable, and unrecognizable. I had forgotten who I was. All the ugly things on the inside revealed themselves, and it was the most horrendous sight.

Yet...God saved me. He indeed lifted me up from the mire. Though the world seemed to abandon me, He came closer and lifted me from depression, disgrace, and hopelessness. Especially hopelessness. Only through Him, did I find the strength to look forward to another day.

Even today, some things still do not make sense and they still hurt. There is obviously a lot left for the Lord to heal. In due time. In good time. In His time. I cannot force it, but merely submit, and cooperate with it.

With His help, I learned to forgive myself, and also to accept the errors that I have made. Throughout that process, not once did He make me feel like crap. Or unworthy.

He knew my heart. He knew my pain. And that is not a justification for all the things I did. But judgments are faulty things, and you can never truly judge a person by the outward appearance. There are complexities to every person and situation, and God, being able to discern them fully, took them into consideration. And He loved me. He fed me truth and understanding, but only as I was willing.

He loved me. Not because I deserved it. But because He is love. He is merciful and gracious.

I know in time everything will come full circle, and finally make sense. Despite everything that went wrong, everything has its purpose, and God has always been sovereign in the situation.

He truly is the God of restoration. The God of new beginnings. I am so thankful for what He has done. May He be exalted and magnified forever and ever!

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