2013-05-22 09:01:09 (UTC)

5/21/13 Tues

woke up at 1pm. he went out. came back to drop off sim card for yung. then went out again to eat with fd and go probation later. i got up, was planning on taking the car to william to check the light, but didn't leave house until 4:20 because i was lagging and calling state farm to claim insurance. even late to pick up yung.

he was tired so taking him to hotel and asked lil fat to come to hotel to get me. found out phone not working, so yung wasn't happy. for some reason, i'm in a bad mood today, very easy to get pissed. or just when i see yung? i was nagging about have to go oakland to do phone then come back and stuff, so he said just go bestbuy buy one. so came to union city bestbuy. lil fat came while the phone was being activated. he couldn't figure out the phone problem either.

chevy ate something very quick. took yung to crowne plaza. we came home. i don't know what got into me, can't remember now. i kept nagging at him about not bring home money this month again. his feedback/reaction/answer made me even mad--yelled at him and threw things. he didn't come kiss my ass and try to make peace, even though he was remaining quiet but when he talk, he said things like then i can pay the rent, meaning i can leave, he has no problem. also he couldn't take me anymore. it made me feel so heartbroken and even more pissed. maybe he doesn't have much experience or maybe he is tired of this shit. he didn't even try. he went out to avoid the fight or just want to go out? see this is another thing, he is at a young age to go out experience and we r too diff. i still love him but i don't think it's gonna work out between us. still the age/experience gap. i don't know if we just need to know each other better or it's just not possible? threw his things. but cooled down and thought of all these. one, there is no point of fighting if i decided to try not love him anymore, two, he still owes me money. i'll just have to be calm and think more.

took a shower, washed sheets and clothes. i think and function better being alone.

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