All that is
Ad 2:
2013-05-17 18:30:24 (UTC)

The Audacity

It's 7.30pm on a friday night. I'm sat on my desk at work. not doing work-related work, but rather, for the fiftieth time, attempting to finish this project. the project? it's epic. or it's supposed to be anyway. For fear of being mark zuckerberg-ed, I'll refrain from writing anything about it but it's something that should turn heads (preferably the heads of recruiters and Head Planners at top agencies). I've visualised it to within an inch of it's life. I know what it looks like, I know what my mock proposal looks like, I can even see the faces of the people who will feature in it. I can see the shoes for one of the other extractions of the campaign, i can see VAN-like shoes, standing inches apart from one another. quotation marks at the en of the line that sits in front of the shoes. I know it inside out. I know how amazing it'll be, i know how impressed THEY'LL be, I've fantasied about the look on their faces when they see it, i've fantasised about presenting it to them, but most of all i've fantasised about the day I have a conversation that goes '...oh that's a shame you're leaving us. where are you leaving to go?' And I answer "BBDO (motherfuckers)" then the look on their faces - the kind that can only occurs when resentment and confusion are being suppressed to make room for feigned happiness. I have replayed this in my head more than i can count. thought very of it almost turns me on.

Clearly this piece of work means a lot.

It is my hall pass
It is ammunition
It is a final 'fuck you'.
Hope for something more.

So it isn't just a project, it is my holy grail.

I fear though that i have put it on such a pedestal that even I'm becoming intimidated by the gravity of what it could mean. Because for some reason I seem to have hit a brick wall. I have all the written material for the project, i just seem to be dancing this very long limbo between refining the writing and actually materialising something.

my hurdle is self inflicted to a certain degree. Sure i could just send my cv out like that, and then maybe someone will get back to me?! My Cv after all is on point. not just 'on point', it's pretty fucking great. and after all most companies I'm looking at - their careers page simply say - 'send us your cv' so surely my cv alone should suffice, no?

I'm also sad that it's a friday evening and I'm not with great company or having a good time. but the only thing i want more than anything right now is to break out of here. that can only happen once I have