Little Drummer Girl
Life as I see it
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I’m struggling more today than I have yet I think. We just got our Girl Scout cookies delivered and Jessica is eating hers right next to me. I feel like I overate yesterday, even though diet power is telling me I didn’t. I really feel like just taking a “day off” and mowing down that box of cookies. Right now, beforehand I have a happy relaxed feeling associated with doing that, but I know in my mind I would immediately regret it. Then I would totally fall of the wagon and go on a complete bender all day because “I already ruined it.” Part of this too is Adam going back to work and Caden going to daycare. I worry about Caden and I know that is stressing me out too. Yesterday my mom said “He’s so good in a high chair. I hope they don’t leave him there all day.” I just can’t get that thought out of my mind.
We had our counseling appointment yesterday and although it was good, I don’t feel like it was quite as riveting as some of the other appointments. But then again we had a pretty good week last week so there wasn’t a ton new to talk about. I’m having lunch with the girls today as well, so part of me is feeling out of control because I can’t know how much I’m eating and I hate that. Tomorrow is ash Wednesday and I’m already dreading fasting, especially since I’m going out to lunch with the German speakers.
This is the classic set-up for a fall and I hope this time I can resist the temptation. I must be strong!
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