nintendojezz

The Marble Hornet Entries
2013-05-03 15:55:31 (UTC)

Im back... and worse then before

Right well im back. yes i know it had been around a month to 2 months, but for some unknown reason i just stopped, so here is what you missed. Many fights broke out and i just still could not take it, attempted suicide 3 times, had mis-understanding 4 times, felt really bad 8 times, fought with parents 14 times, fought with friends, lost friends, again feeling bad. watched movies... after fighting with parents, had 2 anniversaries.. all which went well. felt down many times with the most recent being yesterday. now we get to this week. so school all week, being hassled by mum and dad to finish math.. which i did and still getting greasy looks from friends. honestly these days, i just want to sit alone, not talk and just think. i might do that next week. so anyway today. i went to school and enjoyed the day... till the end. picked up by mum.. which was unintentional, asked to go to Montana's, she said ok. then i asked if i could stay, she says no.. and a fight broke out. i got taken home. i was furious cause now i dident know whether Montana would be happy or not and whether i would see her again. i got home and just dident talk, i told mum i "broke up" with Montana (no i dident) she believes me and uses that against me. i cant do anything so i just tell her i dident, so then she goes on to say "well i wish you did". i flipped, and literary flipped a chair and walked out. mum forced me to go back inside or she will call the police... what the hell are they going to do? i walked back in and waited for the food to be cooked before i go to her place, im not happy at all. mum then comes to talk, she has that seriously we need to talk tone. she sits next to me and we proceed to talk, i myself am trying to hold all my anger in me before i lash out, that dident last long. during this "talk" (argument), Montana was used against me more than 6 times... she keeps saying how im making her (mum) hate her (Montana)i just dident want to say anything. she then continues to go on about how i don't make them proud.. im sorry i got an A and what they want " we want more".. im not SMART GODDAMMIT. so anyway i just give up and then she goes on about how im a failure to them and how they failed as parents.. then nothing was said, i locked my self in my room, waiting for the food to cook cause i want to get out of here as fast as i can.. now i know not many people would give a shit and honestly i don't care, but make one remark, comment or insult and i will consider my ways of death.. cause i have reached the point where im not far from it, so if you have anything to say.. keep it to yourself........ IM DONE.
What a way to restart my diary.




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