2001-10-10 12:14:12 (UTC)

my first day

well here i am a new member of this online diary thing. I
am not sure how this will pan out...but i think its such a
good idea to put my diary online. I have proper one sure
but this one has an endless amount of pages and i doubt
i'll actually lose this one. I better inform you about
myself. I am Phoebe Imogen Beatrice Mackett and and the
moment I live in a town called Frome but go to school in
Bath about 1/2 an hour away. My parents are about to move
to Egypt. With the whole war senario going on i fell trapped. I DON'T
WANNA GO OUT THERE ANY MORE!! Okay so its my step
dads duty to go out there and work for whatever reason but they (my
folks) haven't taken into account the fact that i am so scared for
him, my mum and me and my sister. I have a sister called Becky and
she is 21. Beckys moving out to Cairo with us and living out there
for a year. My other siblings are Keith (charter surveyer) and Mike
in Austrailiia and my little prick of a bro called Gordon who is
incredible annoying. Thats about it for myy family side of things. I
have tons of cousins who i am not that close too apart from one
called George. He's the same age as me (15) and lives near Rehill
with his sister Harriet (18) and my aunt and unlce. Its only recently
that we've become close. I went to stay with them in thieir house in
france over the summer and considering i hadn't seen them for almost
2 years i was kinda scared about what they (harriet and George) would
think of me. As i am a pretty out going person i have been reknowned
for out landish hair styles, colours and dress sense. So i toned down
the hair and the clothing for them When i got over there i found out
that George was into the same kinda music as me ( we're going to see
blink 182 together soon) and we wore the same kinda clothes. We spent
alot of our time together hanging out watching music television and
going to the beach. We got on really well and now that my parents are
moving abroud i shall be seeing him alot more as my aunt is one of my
guardians. In all honesty now i don't have one single best freind,
sure theres really close freinds like sarah and katie. But i don;t
have a best freind who i spend time with everyday. I go to boarding
school and i spend a lot of time mixing with different socail groups
in my year. Occasionally i can be seen with the likes of Alex (very
close freind) and that lot, but we have major differences in taste of
clothes and music. Lucy likes Mariah I like Marilyn Manson. Then i
can be seen with the dancey people such as Charlotte and The twins
Charlene and Chantelle coz i love dancing and always enjoy seeing
them make up great dances even if it is to Janet Jackson or O Town. I
don;t like being classed into a group, as i has being "tagged" as a
particular kinda person. I am individual. I am me.

As far as i'm concerned i have been in love about 5 times. 3 of the
times were with famous guys (taylor hanson, elijah wood and austin
o'brien) i remember breaking down in tears at my old house in
portsmouth when i was about 9 and screaming that i wanted austin!! My
mum came upstairs and explained that one day i will fall out of love
with him and i'll be in love with a guy who felt the same way. I did.
About 5 years later i met this guy called Ed. I saw him at the RHSB
school disco in year 9. He was about 5'8 and had blond-ish brown hair
and pale blue eyes. Me being the way iam i was too chicken to ask him
so alex went ( he later fell in love with her but never mind) and
with in minutes of them talking he came over and asked me to dance.
We went out for 10 and 1/2 months. For a girl of 14 that was dead
serious. We never went "all the way" and i suppose none of us wanted
to coz we were too scared of the image we'd get. Spent the summer up
in bath chilling with him in vicky park. In October we kinda split up
but we kept things going behind peoples back. We actually split up in
about January. We didn;t see each other till we went to helene's
house and we sat up all night talking and kissing. Didn;t see him
again til July and have no desire to see him again as i've learnt
that he's now twisted and messed up and a guy like that would do me
no good. Fell in love with ben when i was 15. He's the best mate a a
guy i grew up with called Matt. Matt was working when my mum and i
went to see matt and ahis mum carole. Ben toke matts place at the
table. Matt was being the waiter that night at Mariners restraunt.
But Ben and i got on really well and when the evening came to an end
mum amd carole stayed behind and had a drink but bem walked me back
to matts. (matt being still at work) and we played on the computer
till mum and carole and matt came home. we (being ben and i) sat up
and atlked about music girl and boyfreinds and then spur of the
moment i kissed him and it was so magical. we were both glad that
happened. we stayed up all night kissing and just lying in each
others arm til at five we went for a walk on the beach. he went to
florida for 6 weeks and i went round europe for 2. we split up about
3 weeks ago. I don't think he actually wants to be freinds at all

being at boarding school often emas looking after people who are
younger than me. I have been here at RHSB for 6 years and i have
grwon out of uniform and freinds. I seem to get on better with people
who are younger than me ( esp jules who i love as a sister and i know
the fellings the same) i'm not sure wether its coz i am imature or
they're mature. but either way i am great freinds with many of the
lower years. Over the last 6 years i can say that i have only been
homesick twice and both times have been on the same day just 2 years
apart. October the 2nd 1996 and 1998. Mum came to see me the on the
first time and not on the second. Dunno why. now that they're moving
away i am starting to miss them alot. I had a nightmare last night
about a bomb going off in my stepdads office in cairo- i work up and
had to cry my self back to sleep. I really don;t cry that often but
when i do its usually at a film or i have a really good reason why! I
cried a lot in gladiator and cry when i listen to 3 songs. One is
Good Ridance by Green day, as Ben would play that when i'd go and see
him, ones the last track on the gladiator album- its beautiful. and
the third is Jerusalem. my most fave memory of that song is singing
it in cardiff millenium stadium on the 3rd of Febuary 2001 with my
stepdad. I had tears in my eyes and a smile on y fave a 72,00 people
stood to sing that son. i was on crutches and had to limp all the way
up to the 2nd but last row in the stadium but my god what a day and
my god what a match. I will never forget that day its one of my fave
memories of my stepdad. He's such a great man. ANd although i do
still see my bioloical dad i would love to be able to call my stepdad
DAD as that is what he has been to me over the last 13 years.