Jessicat

Wye Oak
2013-04-13 00:17:46 (UTC)

Reality is

It's stupid to harm myself over a guy or harm myself at all but the thing is it's hard to be happy when you know that sooner or later all of that happiness will go away and you don't know when that's going to happen or how so you become scared and you start isolating yourself as an attempt to heal yourself but what you don't know is that you're only making your wounds bigger as you purposely make yourself lonely by pushing everyone aside. And so you keep on covering that pessimistic smile of yours with the optimistic views just to keep that tiny bit of sanity you have left in you intact but there's only so much ways you can see things that you start becoming a dreamer and dreamers are not respected in this day and age so you're told to grow up and get to work. But what they don't know is that every day your optimism is fading, and every day you care less and less about living and you find more things to have no reasons about and so you become apathetic and people call you heartless and crude and just a doll with no state of mind.
Then one day, I will run out of reasons to breathe. I will see no reason in anything. My pessimism will catch up to me and my apathy for the world will heighten and I'm just not going to care.

There's only so much of this roller coaster ride I can take before I throw up.




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