☣PYROMANIAC☣

✖✖Playing With Matches✖✖
2013-04-10 22:43:29 (UTC)

I'm Not Safe Anywhere.


I was eating dinner by myself, at the kitchen table.
I was chatting on Facebook from my DS.
My little brother starts screaming about me..
My grandparents only tell him to shut up not because he was saying horrible things about ME, but because he was getting on THEIR nerves.
He was just mad because he wasn't getting his way about something, and THEN he just screams that I was playing on my DS.
THEY EXPLODE AT THAT! JUMP ALL OVER ME! So my grandma takes my Ds, and Evan just walks out..
Fucking Seriously???
My grandma then starts screaming, and complaining about every single thing I do..
SO much anger and Rage was building and rising up inside of me.. I nearly Erupted..
I'm Not aloud to talk back, show anger of any kind, Punch a desk, slam a door.. My brothers Can.. but if I did?? They'd skin me alive.
I'm only aloud to sit, or stand there and take it. Swallow it whole.
All they do is scream at me, and put me down.
They wonder why I stay in my room all the time..
TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY!

My room is the only place I'm alone.. and they threaten to take my only sanity away.. That's the internet and my room.

After she was done.. I got up.. Cleaned the sink of dishes and wept silently as I could.. I choked back so many tears..

I'm not safe at school.. I'm not safe at home..
I'm being emotionally abused..

It's taking everything I have to choke back all this Burning rage..
I could never be myself to them, my Family.. Tell them who I am..
Every time I try to open up.. They criticize me.. and kick me where I'm weakest.

My family is so broken.. My friends don't care..
T only talks about her fucking boyfriend.. Karl's too broken.. Josh.. I don't know.. Charlie tries so hard..
I feel like walls are closing in around me.. and are forcing me towards an edge..

~LoveStruck</3




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