Estrella

Being 33
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2013-04-08 03:25:20 (UTC)

You...again

Years have gone by and we are not who we used to be anymore.

I am a single mommy, a career woman, climbing the corporate ladder....a far cry from the girl you met who lived just for that day, who had no plans, no structure.

You? you are now twice divorced, and who knows in what other ways you may have changed.

I wrote you a note after a friend died. To tell you you had my heart years back. To tell you, that you stayed in my heart to this day. Not in love with you, took me a long time, but I got over you...but yes, you were THE love of my life, and you changed me...and no matter what I wished you love.

Your response? validation! After all these years...validation. You said you often thought of me and that you wondered if I was the one who got away. Not wanting to start anything, just saying your piece...as was I.

I read, and read, and read your message. I wish I could say in all honesty that it didn't shake me. But it did. It brought back so many thoughts and feelings.

And now I am so sad because I had to face the fact that although there have been several guys after you, there has been no love. I can't imagine there will ever be. I remember thinking years back that I was done. That I simply couldn't/wouldn't find any one else to love because I had met THE ONE, and nothing else would do.

Today, I say I was wrong. Today I will choose to be loved, and love someone...anyone...who is worth it. It won't be a great love. It won't be you...but it will be real and valuable.

I will always love you, but I'm no longer yours


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