Silent Solitude

Silent Until Now...
2013-04-05 22:24:12 (UTC)

I'm surprised that my online diary's still here!

I actually thought that this site was gone for some reason. Good thing it's not. Ok, my last entry was over a year ago and since then, a lot of things have happened in my life. The job thing still sucks so there's no change there. As far as health goes, at least I don't have any STDs but I'll come back to that. Family...my nephew is quickly becoming a little brat. The best part about that is I didn't have to do anything! That was actually my goal for my brother. To basically turn his kid into a raving lunatic. However, it's actually my brother and his wife's inability to be strict with him. Even though he's 1 1/2 years old, he quickly knows how to get attention. That's and he's a little mama's boy (more like daddy's but it would sound too weird) and loves to cry for the silliest things.

Looking back in this past year, my nephew quickly turned from innocent little boy to little shit with legs. This is basically what happens when you end up spoiling the kid so much where he thinks everything he does has no consequences. Now I know we live in a time where child rearing is supposed to be a lot less aggressive than it was years ago. Instead of correcting bad behavior by raising a child by 'hand' you have to treat them like they were adults and therein lies the problem. Believe you me, I am one who wouldn't want to raise my hand to a child to correct behavior but I am one who fosters stern parenting. It only reinforces their minds to know what's acceptable and what isn't. I would say right or wrong but that's now stepping into a gray area since everyone has a different opinion of right or wrong. I myself was raised by hand. Sorry, forgot to tell you the meaning of that. For those who don't know, to be raised by hand is basically to be physically beaten. Not to a point where I'd be injured, but enough to let the tears flow. I was slapped a few times, probably the worst of the beatings was when my pops broke out the belt. Nothing like a few whips on the ass to get me to get set straight. To me, that's the most effective way to educate a child. As long as it was only being done by the child's parents and no one else. I'd probably beat the shit out of an educator if I knew that my kid was physically punished by someone other than me or a significant other. Let's face it, if you were a parent, you damn well better be ready to kill if someone hurt your child.

Anyway, my idiotic brother and his wifey decides to correct his behavior by physically removing him from the situation. For example, the little guy decides to play 'pull on my dog's tail to see what happen' and he almost got bit. The only reason why he didn't is because my brother literally stopped it from happening. Now I understand he didn't want to see him hurt plus he's only a year old. However, if you are that old and understand what's to be done in order to get your way, then you should be subject to consequence, regardless of age, gender, whatever. If brother wasn't around, I'd stop him only once. If wants to play that game, he better be ready for some pain. I know if it was my own pops, he'd probably let me get mauled. I'm glad I don't talk to him but that's neither here nor there. My point is that my nephew has not once been properly reared except when my mom is babysitting. Now she knows not to hurt the little shit machine but won't let anything get past her. At least my nephew is getting some reprimand from an adult because had it been me, I'd probably would lose my shit. He'd have to break something of mine (which will happen in the near future) to make me go ape shit. I wouldn't want him near me cause if he is, I'd beat his ass in front of his parents mercilessly. I will snap and it's probably gonna end with the police. I shit you not.

I just found out today that my nephew is sick so that will keep him at bay for at least a few days. That and some more 'good news'. It looks like my sis-in-law is carrying another bun in the oven. The first thing that crossed my mind is, 'not the fuck again'. I would have guessed that they would at least wait a year or two. Nope, they said 'fuck it' and now she's at I believe her first few weeks in. Now, this makes me a little more excited because now my nephew will be the older sibling and I will personally give more attention to the young one because I know what it's like to have an asshole for a brother. Who knows, I might not just give a shit like I do now. Not my kids, not my problem. If my brother asks me to be the godfather to him/her, I'd probably would say yes cause I don't know the other half of her family and I really don't give two shits about them. Then again, when I think about my own godparents compared to what my brother had...he had my uncle and aunt from my pops side. I had a dead fat ass and a fucking godmother I don't see at all from my mom's stupid friends. As far as I'm concerned, godparents are bullshit. Mom and Dad dies (god forbid) then it's up to the god parents to raise that child. Now, I had two fucking nobodies that my mom chose and now the fat fuck of a godfather is dead when I was about twenty-one (at a guess) and the godmother doesn't talk to my mom at all. Last time I saw that bitch was when I was probably seven. So, I was given nobody from my blood relatives and had my parents died when I was a kid, I'd pretty much be screwed. I might have had a better childhood since those fuckers had good children and money but then again, I'm not of their blood so I would have been a stranger who was sent to some fucking foster home. That probably would have been better. At least I wouldn't have to pretend to like them.

Looking back at this entry, I'm actually happy to get something this long out. It's been a while since I've ranted online. The only other time I rant is at work which I'll save for another time. That and I might as well give you a small glimpse into my next entry. I said that I would touch upon my health issue and that at least it wasn't in the form of an STD, but it's still very much incurable but controllable. If you know, then you'll probably know where I'm coming from. For those who don't, well until next time I suppose. I really wanted to continue about my mom's fucked up choices for godparents but that's something I would save for some other rant entry. So as always, it's been your pleasure...

I do want hear from anyone who feels the same as I do as far as being an uncle/aunt and not really having an attachment to your nephew/niece and how your relationship is with them. Gives me more insight on how I may want to approach my current situation.




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