JaceAce

My life as a teenager. Jace
2013-04-05 12:07:45 (UTC)

Lonely...

I guess I'm in an emotional state right now... Haha, anyway...
Even though I have friends, a lot actually but not all of them I fully trust... There's one I trust but... She doesn't see me the way I see her... I see her more than a friend, I see her as my actual sister...
But she doesn't see me more than a friend... Sure she may call me her big bro but that's just a name probably... She probably just see me as a friend, like a simple friend... I know I should not get my thoughts get the best of me but... There's nothing I can do right now... Not much anyway... She got Best-friends that she can share with anything... She get to smile and laugh with the people she trust... I don't... Get to do that with her...
I have this other friends in my school currently...
They say I'm one of their companion and we will go through all the hardship of life together... But even though I'm with group of people like them... I feel like I'm just another outcast that wonders from places to places... No matter how many people I meet... I still feel like I'm walking this dark lonely road... And yet to find the light at the end of it... This lonely road feels like it'll never end... Sometimes I may see a ray of light but it'll soon fade away...
People see me as a person who's quite cheerful,protective,dependable and always smiles :) But... Inside... Literally... Inside my chest... It feels very heavy... Sure I got friends who'll be there for me but... It never last... the longest I had a friend who've I become really close with and trust with all of my life... Only lasted a year... Then we got separated by school... I thought I can keep in contact with her and still intact of how we treat each other but... Time changed her feelings towards me... I just wish... I can find the people who I can grow a bond with... I don't want to be in a group who's already been formed and had a lot of experience already... I want to start fresh and have my own group of friends... Even if it's just one or two people... It'll be enough... Just please.... I hope it'll happen someday....




Ad: