Miss Hyde

Miss Hyde
2013-04-02 04:52:56 (UTC)

in limbo...

gosh, i feel like my life is in shambles.. i'm not a good writer so please dont judge me.

i live in manhattan. in a city of 8 million people i have never felt so alone.. i've lived here for 7 years so i would consider myself a native. i have 2 best friends, one i can barely stand (dont get be wrong, shes a great person) and another that just recently got a boyfriend who wants to run all of our lives. meanwhile they have been dating for 4 months...

i dont exactly know where to start, maybe i should start by telling you that i have a long distance relationship with someone that i dont think even wants me to begin with. you ask why i'm in a long distance relationship when i live in one of the most exciting cities in the world? maybe its because its so hard to date here... or maybe i'm making excuses.. i cant figure it out, regardless i'm so unhappy with everything that i'm doing.. i dont know how to save myself. this long distance relationship is about 2000 miles away from me. i fly out about every month to visit this man and i would like to think that its going somewhere but when i really start to think about it its going no where. its been going on for 7 months now. he has flown out to see me once out of the 7 months. i thought it would make me feel better starting this stupid on line diary but now that i'm writing it, its making me dizzy and i sound like a fucking idiot! i'm going to be 28 years old next week! for gods sake! i need to shit or get off the pot.

i thought long distance relationships would consist of that person calling or texting every other day or so... he never really calls and when i do, he doesn't answer. its smacking me right in the face...




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