lilith.

dedoubledidentifiedschizophrenia~
Ad 2:
2001-10-10 10:44:54 (UTC)

"...absolutely detest such gifts.."

Wednesday, October 10, 2001
1857 hrs

feeling fucked as usual
i mean what is wrong with me. period.

i bought dy the watch last monday and gave it to her on
tuesday.. u noe how much i really wanted to give her
something rite?? i mean for what ever purpose i dont noe..
im thinking i dont need to have a reason to give dy
something. i mean is der a law dat prohibits u so??

anyways it was just a birthday gift. a small thing dat
wasnt much. i just hope she could find some use out of it.

i thot i cld pass it to her on tuesday f2f but i guess de
distance between us is jarring even more.. i mean if it
takes yiqi yo come and ask why we arent hangin out together
anymore, i have nothin else to say.. so i passed it to her
classmate and hopefully dy wouldnt mind dat.

but..

she looked for me after school. i knew wat she was gonna
say. i told her before anything else dat i wasnt gonna take
de watch back and if she didnt like it throw it away, just
dont tell me. den she asked abt how much it cost. i hate
that. i fuckin hate dat. damn it didnt cost much and even
if it cost me my life, i wouldnt mind. its for her aint it?

i just dont see why she got so worked up. is it dat
everything and anythin from me somethin like a sin?
i didnt mean to make u angry. i didnt mean to do something
that might upset u. dat'd be far damnit.

i was sincere damnit.
it was ur birthday gift.
ur birthday. i dont think im allowed to spend it with u.
i wanted to make up for it. but damn.

lith.

ps: wheres de 'love'?
has it disappeared?

lith: yeah. damnit.


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