story to be told
2013-03-11 17:58:49 (UTC)

This is how it began...

People say everything happens for a reason, or things don't just happen like that, something had to have caused it. Unfortunetly that's how like goes. It's all about the cause and the effect. there's only so long you can suppress the memories, or so many memories you can suppress.
I have basically suppressed every memory that i have ever had. I was molested 3 times, used, talked into things that i knew were wrong. People say if you knew it was wrong why would you do it? It's not that easy and its a lot harder to comprehend until you have been there.
To explain where all of this is coming from ill go from the beginning and make my way to the present or how i wish things would be.

I was 5 or 6 and i had slept in my grandparents bed, nothing special it was a typical thing for me to do. I'd wear my grandpa's extra big t-shirts and that was it. He worked 2 jobs and didn't get home until 2 or 3 in the morning so there was nothing much there. He treated me better than my cousins and always felt a need to touch me when i walked by. I never liked it, i hated it, and the more he did it the more i hated him. When he got home that night, i was asleep in the bed next to my grandma, she was out cold sleeping. I was asleep but not out cold. My grandpa climbed into the bed and laid on the other side of me. It was normal, nothing out of the ordinary, and then he turned and was right up against my back. HE began to rub my legs and woke me up but i was still dazed. HE began to touch me,he thought i was still asleep,so he kept going; he moved my feet so i was touching his penis with them and he made me touch him, he would run his hands on my ass and would touch my chest. I was 5 and had no clue what what going on, so i thought it was normal. he kept going and eventually stopped.