Salina's Journal
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2013-03-06 04:09:43 (UTC)

I hate to admit it but....

I hate to admit it but I miss my ex so freaking badly I want to have him all to myself so flipping bad. He's not helping either by flirting with me almost every second of the day when we see each other. Which is basically every second of the day cause the only class we don't have together is reading ._. I think the worst decision I made was breaking up with him or maybe it was rejecting him when he asked me out again :[ I think I brought this on myself. Especially the taunting of the flirting when his friend asked me if I had feelings for him still && I said yes while my ex was standing right there. I wonder why I'm so fearless at times && then at other times I just feel like crap, like nobody cares, like I exist for nothing. I've realized that every time I like a boy they never like me back, well at least that I know of. I liked a 15 year old who just turned 16 (on my mommy's b-day)but yeah I liked him && I can't believe I was stupid enough like why would he like me?!?!? I'm only 12 :T && then I liked a 7th grader in my cluster which A LOT of girls liked. I thought he liked me but turns out he had a girlfriend && I heard && saw that he flirts w/ a lot of girls so the was no reason for me to feel special. && I liked my best friend who is now a stranger [a guy!] && he went out w/ my "twin" [not by blood]&& he ALWAYS flirts with me && everyone thought we were dating but idk :T so yeah I just got all in about my ex-crushes but yeah I just really wanna kiss my && hug him && have a cute relationship but that's not happening because of course he has to go out with the whore/slut of the cluster (at least the sixth grade half)which is like the only person I STRONGLY dislike [in my cluster] uuuuurrrrrgggghhhhh