The Anonymous Writer

The Journal With No Name
2013-02-26 18:40:38 (UTC)

Another Crime, Another Victim

Dear Journal,

It's stunning how dependent I was with you when I first got you. I just couldn't resist writing about my life and the amazing and not so amazing experiences. It's stunning, really. And now here I am totally independent. But I still like you journal, I don't know what it is. So I guess I'm just going to have to write in you every once in a while. And boy do I have much to tell!

I'm going to start out with the inevitable. Shirley. I'm sure you are starting to get sick of me talking about the bitch, but there just always seems to be something going on with her. I can't help it if I'm connected! And so this is what I've got.. after a few days of Shirley only talking to a ginger boy that is apart of our group (the boy she never stops flirting with) she has banded up a group. And when I say banded a group, really it's sort of pathetic. The group includes Clay who is a dick that nobody likes, Kevin who is the ginger that the girls are losing respect for, and Annie who we all pity for because she is the next victim. Ah, Annie. One of the reasons for the title of this entry.. Annie used to be one of Shirley's best buds in the 6th grade. They always talked and had secrets and I knew they had a history of friendship since birth. However 7th grade rolled around and Shirley never hung out with her. Then 8th grade came, 3/4 of the way finished with school, and she has decided to hang out with her again. As soon as she realizes she has nobody to hang out with, may I add, that she has decided to include Annie in her life. Why Annie ever decided to hang out with her again, I don't know. All I know is that Shirley is just trying to replace Esther's position with Annie so she doesn't have to look like she got burned when her own group of ex-friends rejected her.

One more thing: It's been rumored that Shirley may not go to the same high school as my friends or I anymore. I think she knows she'd be treated as shit at the high school we are about to attend, and I mean if the girl has a chance to go to a different school then she should take it! (Shirley would have transferred to the high school I'm in... she's a transfer at my middle school right now... if that makes any sense.) High school is about to get a lot less stressful if the rumor is true. Fingers crossed, love!

Ah. Okay so now that I'm done talking about her for now, who's the next victim? Should it be me? I've been stuck in a crime. A crime dealing with tennis. I just can't seem to get past some things and it's really hurting my game. I'm just doubting my abilities sometimes or losing focus. I don't know what to do! My dad is peeved off and my coach is unsure of what to do. It's been happening on and off for some time now. I think I may just be lacking some noodles in my noggin. I honestly don't know what's going on with me. Just thought I should add that... it felt important to add in in my head.

Another victim? That would be Lucas. He's a boy that I've really liked for some time now. He's Colombian, but has been in America for some time now that you can hardly notice at times. (I may or may not have a thing for Latinos. That is all.) I just.. I don't know. At one point last year I was near to dating him, but nobody knows that because I decided that he was too young for me after getting into the "older crowd." But he's grown up looking older day by day, and something has struck me across the head. I'm just slowly falling for him. And I know he has fallen for me for some time now. And.. I'm just hoping we could date or something, but sometimes I figure it's best not to. He's a victim to the crime of my love and that's a dangerous thing. What happened between the older boy I claimed to love never ended up well nor did the other one that I think may or may not have been a rebound. I never seem to get the recipe right and my relationships always end up burnt. He's been a friend to me for so long. I'm afraid to lose that after we date. Esther, however, claims that that would never happen and even if for some freak reason it did, well, it's 8th grade and I won't have to seem him every again if I don't want to. Do you see what I'm battling with?

Oh and I know I've slightly mentioned Kevin the ginger to you previously, Journal. I think I may have changed his name earlier. I can't quite remember these days who has an anonymous name and who doesn't, and quite honestly at this point of the day I'm too tired to check. So Kevin is a name that not only belongs to an asian tennis boy I played doubles with, but a ginger boy that goes to my school. He's a victim. Shirley is committing the same crime, the slut she is, and committing the crime of flirting with a guy to get what she needs/wants. (She needs a lock to have somebody to talk with for the rest of the year. She wants a boy to make out with because she can't be alone because she's a slut.)

Over these past couple of days, I've just realized that life is filled with the same crimes, but with another victim. These are just a few of the major things I've picked up on. And so, you may start to see that there are patterns that go on in your life too. Don't be freaked out by this. It's normal. (I think.) I mean I'm pretty normal. (I think.)

Signing out,
Brooke Something

P.S. I'm reading Huckleberry Finn right now. It's pretty good actually. I've discovered though that the very book I'm reading was the same book my dad's friend read right before he killed himself. It even has some notes and underlines in it. I don't know why, but that just makes me want to finish the book even more. I hope that doesn't make me too weird in the wrong way.




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