I failed P1. Yes. After more than 12 months in training. Normally one does P1 after 4 - 6 Months training, some even after 7 Weeks. o_O
Und das ist sooooo peinlich. Und es liegt an mir, ich trainiere nicht hart genug, lasse das Training schleifen. Natürlich denke ich auch "Die anderen sind mitschuldig!!!eins!!elf!", aber das ist falsch und nur mein gekränktes Ego, denn die anderen haben unter denselben äußeren Bedingungen bestanden. Alle anderen.
Ich war nervös, hungrig, unausgeruht, unkonzentriert, habe Bewegungsabläufe augeführt die ich zuvor nicht trainiert hatte, nur um besonders gut zu sein, hatte Rückenschmerzen, der nahende Frühling schlägt mir auf die Stimmung und: ich ließ in der Vergangenheit das Training schleifen.
Als Schlußfolgerung bleibt: Fitness erhöhen, ernsthafter trainieren, *jedes* verfügbare Training mitmachen, Techniken sauber ausführen.
Ich bin mir unsicher, daß Eyal Yanilovs Worte mich aubauen können:
"Failing is a punch to the ego. It hurts ones self-esteem. One does not like to fail, whether it’s a test, demand or mission. There are many businessmen, owners of successful companies and great entrepreneurs who failed several times, but eventually managed to succeed. What is the main difference between a successful person and a non-successful one? A successful person gets up after taking a falling down. This person tried again and again until success was reached. The non-successful person either did not try at all or gave up after the failing. Most people either don’t try at all or give up after the first failure. (...)
If the trainee passed the test, what does itmean? It only says that the trainee got a sufficient mark to pass the test. It does not mean that there were no mistakes. Naturally there is always room for improvement. (...)
And what if you failed a test? What should you do then? Should you complain and put the blame and responsibility on the examiner (whom you can’t control and whom should have acted like the doctor during an operation)? Should you say that the examiner liked your partner and dislikes you because you were better than others? Maybe you should lie down and stomp with your feet on the ground? That may have worked on your parents when you were 4 years old and helped you get the toy you desired. Surely the fact that your parents surrendered to your childish behaving made it harder for you to handle failure and cope with disappointments.
What should you do? There is only one way. Understand and accept that the examiner thought you were not good enough, that you need more training, more experience, more monitoring by a qualified instructor. Use this opportunity to get tools and capabilities to deal with failure and disappointment. Start spending time and put more effort to get better, to clear and clean your mistakes. This may need an effort of 2 hours per week for couple of months or 10 times more than that if you have deeper gaps in knowledge and abilities. Accept the fact that you may not be who you thought you were and still you are a unique person, someone who is able to reach great heights, perform excellently and do great deeds. All you need is to continue, because if you stop now you will never make it.
AND you should be thankful for the examiner who put that hurdle, that step, that barrier in front of you – for this is the opportunity to improve and excel. That examiner was merely a mirror that was placed in-front of you and showed you who and where you are (in the world of KMG) and then sent you to improve 'your looks'."
Ich bin meinem Examiner dankbar, denn er hat mir gezeigt, wo meine Schwächen liegen.