It is what it is
I have been so busy all these days to even write in my diary. Work is so stressful then combined with my Msc (part time) I get really busy. On the home front things are just getting progressively worse, and I just want to see the end of it all. If it means we end up going our separate ways and I have peace then so be it. I just want o have peace.
A few weeks ago she texted me saying she was moving out with the kids in the summer of this year. I was taken aback and deeply sad but eventually I manage to reason with myself…..”IT IS WHAT IT IS”.
Since then I have tried to concentrate on sorting my finances out. I plan to go on a debt management program to reduce my credit card repayments. That will help a lot.
She called me for a meeting and asked I should talk about the implications of her decision. I told her she was the one moving out so she should have thought about it. She briefly mentioned 2 things. (1) How would I want to see the kids (2) How much I would be contributing to their maintenance?
I responded by saying regarding the children I will have to get back to her as it is a very sensitive subject and we need to ensure we make the right decisions. Regarding money I said I have no more extra money to give, which is true. The arrangement in the house is that I pay for all bills and she pays for the kid’s school fees and supermarket shopping. At the moment my finances are so bad I barely make it to the end of the month yet I still make sure I pay for all the house bills. If they move out the house bill is not going to change by much and they would need to come and stay with me any way. She has built up a nice nest over the years as what she pays for is just a fraction of her salary but I am struggling so much (mostly self-inflicted it must be said). After I said this , she started cursing me and saying derogatory things to me, I just left the room and said nothing. She continued shouting towards me saying terrible things, I just ignored her.
Later she got on the phone to my sister in law and told her different thing about me…I guess….the summary is….how I am the most useless man on earth. My sister in law then went on to telly my other sister in law the whole story about how useless I am (I guess) as my brother who I never told the story about what has been happening then called my sister to ask what was going on.
Yesterday, she sent me a mail about her credit card…now this story is that a while back we did a number of investments on my credit card and when she started working we decided that I pay the bills and she pays our debt. She paid some and transferred a credit card balance from my card to her and she had a 0 % interest for life. Recently she told me she could not afford to be making the minimum payment on the card and that I should start paying it even though she knew my finances are in such a mess…I will write about my finances some other time and how she wants to see my ruined. We then discovered that apparently I have been making the payments toward the card but in the last 4 months the payments have been late twice (as I am struggling). She then said in her email that she will clear up the debt owed on the card using the money she has set aside or the children sees and that in two months’ time when their fees are due I should pay the fees. She also said she will send me a breakdown of what I will need to be paying towards the children’s maintenance when they move out. If I can’t afford to pay her minimum credit card payment how would be able to afford to pay the children’s school fees which is so much more that the minimum payment on the card. So I responded to her mail saying I can’t afford to make any further payments. We had a talk and she let lose again….I am not a man….I am a shadow of a man…I should go and see mean and see what they do…I am shameless……I have no shame…I did respond…just left the room