kelopi

we're nothing but puppets
2013-02-12 13:27:22 (UTC)

sucide yes or no?


we are all surrounded by depression whether its hunting us or people we're surrounded with. i often feel low,but never like i'm actually depressed. i just feel like today it got to me. it's not just one of those mornings when you wake up feeling bad and it wears of throughout the day. it's the first time i've caught myself not caring what happens with my life. for a split second i shut out from everything around me and felt just tears falling down my cheek.it felt so peaceful,like i'm ready to go.however, i know that i'll never be able to hurt myself or take my life but for that one second i felt like i wouldn't care if earthquake started or if someone shot me or if a freaking lion ate me.
why can't i feel like that more often? it just saddens me that the world is so cruel and nobody actually gives a shit about you,not even your closest friends. i can say that i hate human beings,of course,including myself. we're all so disgusting. i never thought i was a bad person cause i tend to do the right thing in the light of justice but now,i'm aware, that humans only think about their own satisfaction.
did you ever randomly catch yourself thinking about awful things? it can be really anything,but i know you have. or maybe you just hate to admit that. try admitting that we truly are selfish bastards. next time you're alone with your thoughts something that might even frighten you will occur. i promise you that. the ones who take their lives are truly brave,the ones that do not are the ones who want to punish themselves for eternity,just as we,humans deserve.


-sorry.


& sorry for alarming title




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