Anthrophobicgirl

Who Knows
2013-01-30 00:34:59 (UTC)

Listening to Pandora, drinking..

Listening to Pandora, drinking a cup of coffee, having a cup of tea, sitting across from the love of my life. Watchin his sexy ass drink coffee and play on the computer. Sometimes, okay, maybe most of the time, I don't feel like I am good enough for him. I feel like I'm the screwed up one in the relationship and I'm scared of letting that get in the way. Even if I don't screw it up in some other way, I think that by feeling this way it might ultimately get me into some 'trouble.' I really hope not, I don't want anything to come between us. I think we have decided that we're going to Jamaica for our wedding. But I don't know if it's what he really wants. We just have to start telling people what we're doing and that we're having a party on the 22nd instead of a wedding and reception. I know that when I was little I wanted a big wedding, but I don't want to pay for it, I don't want any family drama, I just don't want any of it. The fact that my mom isn't here anymore, doesn't really help either, but it's not a major reason why. And, honestly, I don't want people there staring at me and stuff. I want them to celebrate but I don't want all that... stuff. I know what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'll think of a way to say it later.I have had about as much Fukung as I can handle for one day. I don't really have anything else to do on here. I hate Facebook and wish I could just delete mine. I might eventually. But I have it for now. I think I've been on it once in the past week and a half.. I know that's not long to not be on it, but people fucking live on their Facebook's. It's ridiculous. Well we're going upstairs now. So....




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