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2013-01-29 03:39:30 (UTC)

Not better but not worse

People think that just because I am not getting worse that I am getting better but that is not how it is at all. I don't feel any better I still love him and miss him and nothing has changed. People ask me if I regret being with him and fairing and holding hands I say yes but the truth is that the only thing I regret is not missing him and post poning all of the times we were supposed to kiss. I wish we could be together but the stars don't grant my wishes when I wish upon them all of the stars I wish upon have been wished upon and I am still yet to find one that has not been wished upon. Today I relished that love is not a feeling but it is a thing that disappeared and now people use it for sympathy. I really did love him and now that the 1 person who cared was nice treated me good that was always there And I Thought loved me is gone I have nothing to lose and I wish that we could be but we all know it will never work he is a player and I am a tomboy so those 2 things will never mix the way they should but just cause u like I doesn't mean it is good for u. It felt good to love him and I liked it but it was bad for me. It made me soft and I let my guard down , but I am willing to do it again if I can feel the same way again that I did when we were together. Valentines day is coming up and I can't do anything but think of last year when I was his and he was mine. He got me a teddy bear that said hug me. It was so cute I still have it and I lOve it . I am hoping he asks me to be his valentine but I'd understand if he didn't.

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