Fallen from Grace
Today I was playing 20 questions with someone I just started talking to named Jen. She asked me the question: what are you afraid of? My reply surprised me. I said simply I am only afraid of one thing… That someone I hold close is going to hurt me. I block out my thoughts of people who have hurt me. I am saddened but am continuing forward. I wish I could just let go of my tragedy and enjoy life. I know until I get back where I can face my pain I’m going to be a little off. How many times can one tear me limb to limb inside. I have anxiety building up.
Sometimes my ability works so well I feel as though I live without bipolar… other days like today I feel as if I’m soulless. Today is one of those days where I felt every possible human emotion. I was happy, sad, happy go lucky, reserved and open. Its only 6 minutes to one o clock in the morning so I am going to pass out.