kelopi

we're nothing but puppets
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2013-01-14 12:21:52 (UTC)

here goes nothing

why is it so hard to break old habits? here i am,writing about whatever i'll write,while seconds drift away,and my day is always the same.
i sure would love to live exciting life but there are too many things holding me back. dreaming gets me through. i just think about life i'll be able to live in a few years time. i feel worthless right now. what have i done in these years i've lived? nothing. i feel empty. i feel like i'm drowning in my own existence. i bore,pity,disgust myself. why is that so? why are my habits so awful? why can't i get up and LIVE?
i don't want to go away,to die. i like life,the little things it offers but i miss something. i miss something that would make me happy and full of life and just..just peaceful. i don't want to have this anxiety. it's terrifying. but few people can understand it. those few people i do not know. although i know they're out there somewhere,sharing the same dreams and hopes as i am,i can't help it but to feel alone. it's funny how i love to spend time in my own company but yet i hate feeling THIS alone. i don't even know how to explain. life is hard i guess. no,actually,life is scary.


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