the secret me

what people dont know(Simply Clean)
2013-01-09 11:19:08 (UTC)

i see y people do the things they do

im trying so hard to be the person everyone wants me to be what my parents want me to be what my brothers want me to be and what my friends want me to be well that person i put all together and i call it me but in realitty i have no idea what whoor what i am . my parents want me to be a girl that can cook and clean and good grades my brothers want me to be a girl who knows about cars a dancer who has swag play x box and sports do what guys do basically and my friends all see me has a badass but a nice one who speaks when spoken to only says things when she needs to to be pretty expected to do things and stick up for people when she needs. i am tired of trying to be all these things and when i am all these things my parents still yell at me for the dumbestreasons so i have a thought a really stupid one i know but if i am doin everything right and i still get yelled what if i did everything i wasnt suppose to like smoke and drink but see then that would make me weak and im not a weak person. and see along with that thought i think what if i became alcholic who would care or a drug user how far would it go just so i can prove my point to people. im trying and trying my best to make everyone in my life happy with me but it is slowly killing me inside. the wzy i see it my whole life is a lie . im so ddeep with trying to impress people and make people happy that i have no idea how to be me or stop being what everyone made me into. i put on a happy face and forget everything when i m with people . evryone tells me there problems and when is comes to me they dont hear a peep. i dont want people sympathy or advice theres nothing u can say or do that will make everything go away . yesterday my dad started yelling at me because of a blanket thats so stupid a person can only have so much respect for some one that i have no repect for my parents anymore its gone. and i will never let them get that back they ruined my childhood with there fighting and they think they can make it up with spending a day with me. no i dont think so. i tried talking to my dad but all he does is starts yelling at me and he wants to know yy i dont talk to him. when im 18 im moving out so far i have saved alot of money and im just waiting for that day . and then from then on i wont have to think about everyone else just me wont have to worry about people yelling at me or dissapointment. and i wont have those really stupid thoughts so for now all i can do is hang in there and wait.




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