The Anonymous Writer

The Journal With No Name
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2013-01-05 00:29:00 (UTC)

Dazed-and-Determined

Dear Journal,

These past couple of days (has it been days?) I've been lost in drama after drama. Well, welcome to school back in session basically, am I right? Of course I'm going to be getting some drama at school when I returned, but anyway I've got to type it down. It is interesting.

Shirley has officially decided to not hang out with Tyler until Tyler breaks up with Dakota. Thank fucking God!! Even the fortune cookie we had today told her not to, so obviously that's just fate telling her to hold her fucking horses before she whips them out along with her tits. Honestly. That girl is a firecracker. It's too much to handle sometimes.

This boy, Chad who's a Freshman hooked (aka kissed) with this really good girl, or at least I thought was a good girl, Emily. What's so bad about that? Well, Chad has a girlfriend. Yeah, she may actually be completely unappealing to the point where your eyes start to burn, but she's still a girlfriend to Chad and he managed to completely lie to her where he was for New Years and hooked up with another girl. Who, by the way, completely was aware of Chad and that girl's relationship! But of course she was "drunk" and they kissed to the point where her shirt was off. That boy got some consequences at least. His girlfriend basically dumped him the minute she found out in school. So basically, I guess I should say Cha'd ex for now. LOL. Sucks to suck huh Chad?

My neighbor, Alex dumped her boyfriend for 6-months. Her best friend of all time casually told her that her and Alex's boyfriend confessed their affection for each other and kept it a secret for months. So now it's completely awkward for Alex at lunch because they both sit with her, so we let her sit with us. It's annoying too because Alex's so-called-friend has broken up many other people because the boy's just swoon over her. I mean yeah she is completely athletic, a brainiac, and pretty but does that mean she should have the nerve to do all of that? Not only do it, but try to cover it up so she can maintain her goody-too-shoe reputation? Ughh.. the nerve on that girl! What. A. Major. Beyoooooootch.

And where am I in the mix? Well, I'm just completely dazed when I get to school.

I'm dazed.

I lose all sorts of concentration. It's a problem really. And I know I really should focus especially if I want to be a doctor, but I just can't! I only can sort of pay attention in this engineer class because I don't even work. I just talk to the teacher who's really awesome. I've known him since he got his first job working here. He's really cute and has this southern twang about him. Accent and everything. But not in the way that it makes me a redneck. God no! But he has a girlfriend and he's totally way too old for me!! But it makes a girl fantasize every once in a while. It's weird. But I've had dreams about him and I too. I guess I just watch too many Pretty Little Liars. I guess. I suppose. Eh. I mean, who can blame me though? He looks like Jesse Eisenberg, but has some softer features about him, and is less awkward then Jesse is in his movies.

So yeah, I basically lose concentration, besides this engineer class with that bangin' teacher. But I'm leaving his class for good in a few weeks and I actually might get really upset because I don't know actually... I actually need somebody to help me with why I am going to be so upset. Why guys? Why can't I just get over that class? It's not like I like working with my hands to build stuff. I barely do shit in that class.

I'm determined.

Remember my new lifestyle? The new healthy, better me? Well, everything is going well so far! I have lost 2 pounds already by making healthy decisions and I'm proud of myself. I haven't let myself go besides today for a little Friday treat. (I ate more Chinese noodles than I am usually allowing myself.) In fact I'm starting to feel a burn. It hurts throughout the day sometimes, but I know that I'm just feeling effort in my legs. Plus, I'm getting skinny bitches! However, I do still want some sort of support. My friends are still making fun of me about this new lifestyle. They think it's just a phase or obsession I have. Ugh. They make my blood boil. (I just pulled a joke.. remember my early entry??)

As for tennis? I'm a fucking star. Only, I really need to regrip my racquet. I'm having a hard time holding onto it. Otherwise, I think I'm doing well! And I have a tournament next weekend. I'm actually pretty pumped!! As long as I can get my forehand down like I did the last game against that really annoying cunt I beat then I can be the winner of this tournament. Not to mention, tournaments totally make me thin after the constant matches and little eating. It's great. And not to forget: COMPLETELY HEALTHY!

So yeah, that's basically it for now. I'll keep you updated, folks.

Signing out,
Brooke Something

P.S. Isn't it so odd that I'm both dazed and determined? It's like the complete opposite. I live two different worlds, yet one at the same time. I just don't understand. Why am I so confused about my teacher and paying attention and not being able to enjoy time with friends? YET... I can pay attention to tennis and getting fit to the point where it's probably too structured for a 13-year-old girl to organize. This is all just so weird. I don't understand. Why? Why? Why!?


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