LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2013-01-04 19:25:09 (UTC)

What Is Real Life?

January 4, 2013 Friday 7:25 PM

"What Sarah Said" by Death Cab For Cutie

[I just recently bought two DCFC^ albums on my iPod, so thats probably why I've been listening to them so much lately, ah]


I wish I wasn't alone right now.

I'm dissolving, spinning, going down the drain.

I said it jokingly at some point, but seriously, I'm worrying myself... Which isn't true, actually. I don't worry about myself. I guess I'm simply curious.

I can't tell what is real or not anymore. Seriously. I keep recalling memories, but they are so vague, (even though if they seemed to have happened the day before or week before) I can't tell if I just dreamed the situation or not.

Which is the case with my breakdown in Lily's house. Maybe I fell asleep while playing black ops upstairs and I dreamed that I spilled my heart out. I know the part with Marina was real, because when I gave her a journal to help her, she accepted it and knew what I was talking about.

But the breakdown? Lily, staring? Me? Feeling like the world fell out from below me? Broken and crying, just wanting her to say something, to be honest?

Was it a dream?



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