I am tired of just making up the numbers. Being an anonymous face. We have a very short time. It is very deceptive because a day seems a long time but in reality a life time is very short. There are points in our life time we have to stand up. Miss it and it’s gone. We end up a mere statistics. I have a burden. A burden to be meaningful. I can’t just be here to work, play and sleep. That is meaningless. To make it even more complicated that is the default. If you don’t stand up and grab it, that’s it, you will just work eat and sleep. I wish I could put it into words. I refuse to just be that. I have a purpose. I must discover it. There is something moving in me….a force I can’t stop, a positive force that will take me to where He wants me to be.
Having said that, I am a paradox. My mind is a battle field and I have ringside view. There is lust, love, compassion, pride, anger, frustration, modesty, christ etc…. a cocktail of emotionally battles. Some days lust wins, some days Christ wins, some days something else wins….
I am relying on that force to see me through, to outlast and over power the others.