LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2012-12-30 23:40:40 (UTC)

:(

11:40 PM

It's so hard trying to find a replacement site! I hate penzu -its completely private. And I just started a diary on open diary with the same username I have, but I fucking HATE that site, so I tried to delete it but I couldn't. :(

Its just like... The reason I am on my-diary is because I was looking at all the diary sites, but this one came up first, plus when I checked out Open Diary and penzu and shit... I didn't like them. At all.

I like this diary. It's simple, easy to use, and you can have public diaries... and its... its better. Maybe I only think that because I've only used this site, but wah.

I don't want to leave.

But every. Single. Diary. I had on here, I stopped having because

1) I was tired of telling Lily everything while she told me practically nothing

2) On my second diary, it was because I sounded fucking annoying, nothing ever changed, and I thought my-diary was making me more depressed or at least competitive about depression.

3) This time, I want to leave because of a combination of reason one and just that... well, I'm tired of feeling like I don't deserve anything. I mean, I don't. But i just wish... Nevermind.

I could just stop now. Keep writing in this diary like my mindset never switched.

But I want to be able to tell my diary everything.

And I can't.

I want to feel isolated... But not alone. I know thats kind of contradictory.

It's the truth, though.


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